How do we see ourselves? Is it through our own sense of self, completely independent of others? Or is it through others? Is our sense of self, our perception of ourselves just a reflection of what others see?
I struggle with this concept because I am a hope mongrel, a believer, a friendly fiend. =) I believe every person has good in them, has the potential to be something great and mostly everyone wants to be good. Wants to be nice. Wants to be lovely. Some just don’t know how. And when you believe the best in and OF people, reflections are murky sometimes.
Sometimes people do not choose to be good, do not choose to be nice. And when I focus my time on these people who continuously choose not to do the right thing, who choose to live in a way that doesn’t feel right for me… I find I like my reflection a little bit less. It skews just a fraction, just enough to feel ‘off’.
I realize I cannot, should not, be entirely defined by another person, yet aren’t we reflected back to ourselves by every person we encounter, every moment and every choice in how we fill each of them, every interaction of every day. Aren’t we a sum total of our experiences? And when we choose to fill our time with people who do not reflect what or who we want to be it becomes difficult to discern just exactly what we are seeing from what we think we are seeing. And some days… I just don’t know anymore.
I miss my reflection in the soft rain for which Seattle is so famous. I am thankful summer is almost over and Autumn is taking over. Rain, rain, come again! =) I am ready for a new season, a new reflection. I am ready for new… or old… but not the same.