They caw, then wait for their peanuts. This is a daily routine.

Lesson 1 in the crows training program was teaching me their preferential diet. I learned they preferred peanuts over bread. They would leave the bread for last and gobble up the peanuts like they were going out of style.

Lesson 1 (a): Neighbors do not appreciate when you leave peanuts (or bread) on the shared walkway/porch. They get angry and show this anger in passive-aggressive ways, such as sweeping aggressively outside your door while hitting it repeatedly and forcefully with each stroke. Then later opening the door quickly trying to “catch” you feeding the birds, only to smile and shut their door calmly as if it doesn’t matter, never saying anything to you. I learned it was better to place the peanuts (and/or bread) on the ledge of the porch, rather than the walkway, and sweep up the mess after every feeding.

Lesson 2: Scheduled feedings. I have an irregular schedule. The birds…not so much. It just so happened that I would feed the birds in the morning when everyone left. It was a fluke really, not intended to create a pattern. The birds thought otherwise. One day I forgot to put peanuts out and they began cawwing. How cute. =) It reminded me to put the peanuts out, and so I did. A few days go by, I remember to feed them, no problem. Then, I fell asleep on my couch one morning and did not put peanuts out for them, oops. They tried to cawww outside my door but I was too sleepy. I thought to myself, “self, they can wait.” This didn’t go over very well with the crows. They cawwed and cawwed for about a half hour. Then they decided to take it a step further. They went onto the roof and to my chimney and started cawwing down it. It echoed down my unused fireplace and throughout my acoustically-amplified apartment. They were determined to get me to feed them. And I did.

And now I am officially trained. They know how to get me to feed them and do so on a regular basis, much to the chagrin of my neighbors. =/ Oops.

I think a peanut dispenser is the logical next step for us, the birds and me. Any suggestions on how I can train them?