Archive for the ‘emotions’ Category

Beauty redefined

Monday, October 10th, 2011

A friend and I were having a discussion about beauty and how we define it… here is the gist of what I said…

We are all beautiful. It is in the looking. It is in the seeing. I suppose it is about which angle we choose to see. Isn’t it ironic how we so rarely choose to see ourself in a way that beauty can recognized or appreciated. We are perhaps not able to get the right perspective about ourselves… for good reason. It helps us continue to grow and polish ourselves… If we were to catch the exact angle where our own beauty shined brightest, would we become like Narcissus lost in that one reflection? That one view… Peering into the darkness only to see one part of ourselves.

You are right. We should focus on just being, whoever we are but even that is ethereal and we can but breathe in every moment and know that life is something of a mystery.

You are beautiful. We are all beautiful. Life is beautiful if only we can get the right angle, or open our eyes and that is so much more of a task for good reason as well. Like Narcissus or Veruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. When surrounded with ONLY beauty one becomes something different, something ugly. Transforms to be unique. When those of us who see things in all their colors, darkness, light, and every shade in between… We create a palette that colors the world more real. And this is a new kind of beauty. Something many cannot see.

Its in the pregnant pause of a busy mind that often cannot think of that witty retort in time but just a moment too late. Its in the tears of self doubt. Its in the aggravation of the inconvenient. In the misstep. In the tummy pouch, ten pounds past perfect. In the split ends and the frayed mistakes. Its in the deep grooves lined on your face like battle wounds from life. It is in the stress-induced rash displayed upon your face to read… I am struggling. It is in the mispronounced author’s name.

So perhaps you don’t see it in yourself. And I do not in myself but that leaves us searching for and finding it in everything else. And isn’t that a more solid beauty?

I wonder where else we can see beauty outside the box. If beauty can be redefined, then I have hope…

Bound

Friday, March 18th, 2011

Bound.jpg

We are all of us bound to something, some one… many things. No matter how far away, we still feel the never ending pull. We try to mask it with white noise, with others, with go, go, go but still there is no severing some ties. We are bound to those we shared a little too much of ourselves with even if we try to pretend otherwise. We are bound to ourselves, even the darkest meanest self-critic within. We are bound to our pasts like rotting roots waiting to crawl through us and petrify all that is good, all we have overcome. We are bound to our sadness, to our will, to our weakened or refreshed strength. We are bound to the strangers around us. We are bound to the person starving or crying or celebrating millions of miles away, the one we may never meet. We are bound to the buildings with the paint chipping off and the glass towers built to last forever. We are bound to the oiled birds of the Gulf Coast. We are bound to the missing in Japan. We are bound to the fabric woven throughout humanity to all its imperfections and to all its beauty. We are bound to everything, and I am bound to you.

Bound to you by Christina Aguilera (from the Burlesque Soundtrack)

Mr. Blue

Friday, January 14th, 2011

I found the most amazing and relevant song by Catherine Feeney and thought you should hear it.

Mr. Blue by Catherine Feeney

Truth and emotions

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

Parasite, originally uploaded by bijoyKetan.

“Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.”
– Benjamin Disraeli

I read that quote and its meaning has been resonating within since. I am always apologizing for ‘getting upset’, for crying, for being mad, for being afraid, for everything really. I can think of a dozen or so times in the past month I apologized for showing emotion. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

We have alienated ourselves in the age of social networking. Instead of closer, we are farther apart. It is sad but true. Part of this culture is to anesthetize ourselves, our emotions. Mute them down, paint over them, pretend as if we are aloof. Grow so busy we can’t help but be apathetic to that which matters: people, love, connections, family, relationships.

I am going to try not to apologize for my emotions, my feelings, for 30 days. If you catch me do it, remind me! =)

Writing for writing’s sake…

Friday, December 3rd, 2010

, originally uploaded by Gabriela-Torres.

It seems in the inertia of my life I have lost time for writing for writing’s sake… to just write because it helps free my mind of the flurry of words within threatening to bury me in an emotional avalanche. I miss spilling my thoughts onto paper, inking them permanent or stamping the pain from memories with every stroke of the keyboard. I miss the inherent reach for any number of journals waiting dutifully within arm’s length. I miss my silent papered friend forgoing judgment, bypassing all niceties for the nitty-gritty of reality.

I think I’d like to return my hand to paper, to journal, to write, to conjure all that is swirling inside to flow through a pen into something trivial, a little less chaotic.