Archive for March, 2010

Friday, March 26th, 2010

What I cannot love, I overlook. Is that real friendship?
– Anais Nin

I am so involved, engaged in the things and people I love or feel passionate about. I often do let the in-between fade into the background. I am one to neglect that which is not pressing, that which is not invoking in me something. I guess this is both a positive and a negative trait but it is a reality for me. Its not to say I do not get my dishes done and I certainly do not love them but they do annoy me when they stack up. They still provoke a reaction within me. Do I expect too much of those around me? Do I expect them to always be on their ‘A’ game? It is something I will think more about. I know I often go hot or cold. If you do not respond immediately, I lose interest. Why?

I often do not have the time or inclination to respond immediately. Why then do I expect others to? Hrm…food for thought. I am often unforgiving in little ways like this without even realizing it. Albeit, I am also very forgiving in some very real, substantial ways. I guess we are all a little give, a little take. And my flaw is impatience or indifference if you do not invoke in me interest. Luckily, I am fairly easily engaged in thoughts, ideas, conversations and thus I redeem myself with concerted, interested exchanges. But even that has it downfalls as when I am flittering about looking at something new, investigating, reading, writing, whatever… I let the conversation fall flat and do not come back to it till I have the time and inclination.

I believe you should be in the moment, present. Engaged. Involved. Interested. And this is both good and bad. It is important to having people feel heard, understood, cared about. However, it is also a double-edged sword, isn’t it? If I am present, engaged and involved–simply not with you, then ‘our’ interaction feels flat. Yes? But would anyone have me any other way? It is part of my charm and part of my annoying traits…isn’t it?

These questions are rhetorical, of course. I am simply doing some personal inventory through writing. I still like me. And you. and you. and you. and you. and you. and you. and you. and you. And you. and you. and you. and you. and you. and you. and you. and you. And you. and you. and you. and you. and you. and you. and you. and you. And you. and you. and you. and you. and you. and you. and you. and you. In order to give my full attention I must take it away from all other things and thus it is a high likelihood you will experience draught. Don’t give up on me…I will return.

Breathe, write, live

Thursday, March 25th, 2010

If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.
– Anais Nin

Is there any better to write? But full heartedly? If nothing else but for yourself. Everyone tries so hard to anesthesize events, moments, even their own feelings. The day of the I don’t care about anything, I will get in your face and tell you off–take your inventory whilst being incapable of taking my own–I do not even know or like myself has grown old. It is tiresome to read social media pages of people telling you the traits they want you to believe they possess, yet rarely do, chronicling every nauseating detail of their days and still they fail to mention how they really feel or how they really think. They rarely share anything worth reading.

It is all polished nothingness, pages and pages, posts and posts, of nothing… for the world to see, craving fake attention…over dramatized…truth left unwritten. Person left unknown.


Wednesday, March 24th, 2010

I used to journal every day, several times a day but this past year or so I have all but stopped completely. I rarely, if ever, journal anymore and when I do it becomes more of a check list, a to do list, a things I need to get list. How sad. I have decided I will get back to journaling. I want to pick up a pen and physically write out my thoughts, as disjointed as they may be, and feel the resolution that comes with getting them out. Thoughts can get so twisted in our own heads. Even the act of saying something out loud can de-energize its momentum. Writing it out can help us see patterns over time or to see how most fears, most problems have such simple but profound roots. And then we can address them, no matter how difficult. It is a start. Thoughts can be destructive and I have found that journaling helps me turn them into constructive tools for change.

So, why did I stop journaling? It doesn’t really matter.

The important thing is that I start again. To make it a habit once again. Once upon a time it was without thought that I would reach for a journal and I left them everywhere for convenience. I want to return to these habits. They were healthy and helped me immensely. So, today, I will set aside 20 minutes to journal. Just 20. And if I have nothing to write about, I will recruit some help from some various programs I have found online. I will share my progress…some leads…some writing tips as this progresses.

Here’s to the power of writing and good habits!

Le searc air

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010

“That such a coincidence should occur at all is so improbable and so incredible that nobody could have dared to predict anything like it.”

C.G. Jung

Simple pleasures…

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

I find the simplest things in life are most enjoyable. I love reading, writing, good conversations. I love researching my ancestry and the ancestry of those I care about. I like to read the stories of yesteryear, tales of Scottish lords and English peasants. I treasure time spent with people I care about in whatever way I can get it. I like to laugh and love and live. I have been on the quest for meaningful interactions with others. Genuine engaging conversations. Talking of everything that is real and avoiding that which is not. I find comfort in the warmth of silence enveloping the end of a satiating conversation. I like to read aloud to those who will listen and I love to be read to, particulary whilst falling asleep.

This past year I have returned to simpler motivations. I want those I care about to know why I care, why I enjoy their company, why I choose them to be in life. I also want to steer clear of overconsumption, of wasteful spending, of collecting things I do not need. I decided for birthdays to get creative, to get personal. I will make compilations of music that are thought out and relevant. I will make gifts and cards that say, “you are important to me”. I will give my time, my attention, my thoughtfulness. I will share of myself more. I have already started this… with the birthday Cardis (Tardis), handmade Valentines, a homemade custom birdfeeder and handwritten journals filled with descriptive reasons I like a person. I’ve jotted down things people have done that made me smile or feel warm and fuzzy. I’ve typed them up on notecards and filled them in small boxes…sharing them like love-filled recipes of how to appreciate the more important things in life.

It is time to return to a time where people mattered more than things. And I don’t mind being in the forefront of this change.


Saturday, March 20th, 2010

This past few years I have grown nostalgic about my ancestry. I want to know where I come from. Who peoples my family tree? I started to become fascinated with this line of thought before the new influx of tv shows like “Who do you think you are?” and the PBS miniseries digging up the past of Yo-Yo Ma and Eva Longoria, “Faces of America”. But these shows have reinforced my desire to do a family informational archealogical dig. I have uncovered both ends of the spectrum… Irish mobsters bootlegging and roughing people up and heroic police officers who lost their lives in the line of duty. I can trace one line of my family back at least 12 generations. Another, I can’t get past my grandfather. It is interesting business trying to figure out who you really are, where you come from but there are so many tools to do this now. Records are online at places like and You can also find Mormon archival libraries in your local area. You can ask family members, friends of family members. You can request birth certificates. The information is out there waiting to be discovered. It is liberating, inspiring, it roots you to your past in strange and wonderful ways.

For me, it means I am more than the daughter of my parents. This is particularly important to me since I am estranged from my mother and rarely talk to my father. I want to feel grounded, a part of a family that is greater than the poor choices of two people. Greater than the mistakes or triumphs of any one person… there are hundreds of people in my history… and I thoroughly enjoy discovering each and every one of them, learning their stories… reading, researching, learning who carried my genes down the line… who delivered the chance of my existence. =)

Who can you find interesting in your ancestry? I challenge you to find at least 3 different interesting people and share them with me! I would love to read your intriguing ancestral stories! =)

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

I love love love love St. Patrick’s Day. =)

Irish-Heritage Month

Tuesday, March 16th, 2010

March is Irish-American Heritage Month and I think it is worth researching… read on…

Presidential Proclamation–Irish American Heritage Month


From long before American independence to today, countless individuals have reached our shores, bringing vibrant cultures and diverse roots, and immeasurably enriching our Nation. This month, we honor the contributions made by the tens of millions of Americans who trace their heritage to the Emerald Isle.

Irish Americans fought for our independence, and their signatures adorn our founding documents. When famine ravaged Ireland in the 1840s and 1850s, many Irish men and women sought a new beginning in the United States. Though they faced poverty and discrimination, these immigrants transformed our cities, served in our Armed Forces, and settled the frontiers of our young Nation. Their children, and succeeding generations of Irish Americans, have preserved their culture’s values while becoming leaders in every facet of American life.

During this year’s Irish-American Heritage Month, we also celebrate an extraordinary Irishman: Senator Edward M. Kennedy. Throughout his career in public service, Senator Kennedy worked tirelessly to create opportunity for all Americans. His legacy lives on in the legislation he championed, which will bolster and protect the health, education, and civil rights of Americans for generations to come.

Across the Atlantic, the people of Ireland continue to confront their own challenges with resolve and determination. In the face of violence perpetuated by some — testing a hard-earned peace — the people of Northern Ireland have responded heroically. Undaunted, they and their leaders persist on the road to peace and prosperity enshrined over a decade ago in the Good Friday Agreement. The United States remains committed to supporting the political process and the work of those who have shown leadership in pursuit of a lasting peace.

Today, the sons and daughters of Erin can look back with pride on their many contributions to the civic and cultural life of America. Like so many of our Nation’s ethnic communities, Irish Americans are a people whose hard work and resilience have brought them great opportunity and success, and whose service to our Nation has left it a better place.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by the virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States do hereby proclaim March 2010 as Irish-American Heritage Month. I call upon all Americans to observe this month by celebrating the contributions of Irish American to our Nation with appropriate ceremonies and activities.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this first day of March, in the year of our Lord two thousand ten, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-fourth.



Yay for us Irish-Americans! =) You can learn more on the following sites:

American Foundation for Irish Heritage

The Irish Heritage Center in Ohio

Irish-American Heritage Center in Chicago, Illinois

Irish-American News (Whoever thought of this—brilliant!)

And last but NOT least The Irish Book Club!

If I were consistent…

Monday, March 15th, 2010

If I were consistent, I would update this site each day and regale you with colorful thoughts that cross my mind. I would place my political beliefs in the display at the window in my mind. I would bring you to tears with sorrows we’ve all been felt too deep to explain. I would make you laugh out loud so your colleagues think you are mad. I would share with you whimsical photographs of books I’ve long since read.

If I were consistent, I would delight you with my melancholy poetry or write you a story to help you escape the doldrums of your todays. I would whisk you into my everyday imaginations, creative adventures. I would photo-journal my expressive birthday gift adventures, my valentine’s day crafted love notes. I would fill your ears with the musical compilations that help me relax or sleep or cry or smile or feel connected to the human race again.

If I were consistent, I would ramble on and on and on about the healthcare reform or the caucasians in the United States becoming the minorities or the Irish mobsters hanging about in my family tree. I would scan in the pictures of birds or snap a few of the hummingbabies that visit me all day, every day. I would write elaborate, in-depth reviews of the books I devour. I would tell you how much I love my new Nook, I would tell you I got one for Valentine’s Day and I would tell you just how lovely a gift that was for that holiday, how fitting it was for me.

I would roll the vernacular dice and win your devotion, inviting you to visit 21 times a day just to see if I updated my silly blog, if I were consistent.